Have you ever felt terribly helpless, like how you could only watch the person you love burn right in front of you and all you can ever do is stare as the person dies? Have you ever hoped, in times of helplessness, somebody; just somebody would come along and tell you what you can do? Have you ever hoped, that everything was all bright and pretty instead of being how it really is (all black and depressing)? You hope for a lot of things and you have to admit, hope is like a bubble which can just go ‘pop’ anytime and when it does, well you’ll be having a painful landing, cuts and bruises and all. But yet, I still hoped, hoped that I did well enough, hoped that when I reach out I would be of some help, and hoped that all things will turn out well. But it turned out all ugly, not as I expected. I was disappointed. I asked why again and again and until today I can’t seem to understand. I guess it’s true then, if you’re not in somebody’s shoes you’ll definitely not know how the person feels.

We’re like porcupines, all of us have quails and we might hurt each other but yet we choose to stay together. That’s what supposed to have happened but you left the group. You left the warmth of huddling together and went away. Yes huddling together may hurt us at times as we get poked by each other’s quail but its okay cause by huddling together, you get warmth. It may hurt getting poked by quails of others but all we need to do is be more flexible and make some adaptations or changes and things will be great.

Because you’re a friend who was always there when I fell and didn’t feel like getting up. Because you were there every time I feel like giving up. I wanted to do something no matter how idiotic it will make me feel, no matter how hilarious it will look like in others’ eyes, I wanted to do something, anything that could bring you back. Anything at all that could be of help. And I did, because you mattered to me so I walked under the sun, making myself darker like I’m not dark enough and doing illegal things I shouldn’t be doing, making a fool out of myself just to be shut out coldly. You were there, I’m not dumb, I have enough common sense in me to think logically, but yet you shut us all out coldly. Our effort was thrown right down the drain harshly. Weren’t we idiots? To think that you would listen, you would appear until we forgot about breakfast and had stomachache. That moment there I was mad. I was mad at myself to have had such high expectations which only brought a great amount of disappointment. I was mad at you for shutting us out, for not responding to our reach out. Then I thought, maybe there’s a reason behind it all. Since I have to admit I might not understand what you’re going through.

We reached out, extended our arms till we met the boundary and couldn’t reach out any further. All that was keeping us from reaching you is you yourself. You wouldn’t open up and trust us, you wouldn’t let us in. You pushed us all away. Time after time we reached out and time after time we got pushed away. But we’re still here, we’re still stubbornly and patiently waiting for the day you come back. I know I am. Even when we get pushed away, we still thicken our skin and came back, we forgot about being embarrassed and came back and we’ll continue to come back. It’s all right down to one reason: We’re your friends who care and love you. That’s all it takes for us to come back. If shutting yourself away from this harsh world makes you better then you can continue doing so, but we’ll be waiting at the door for you to have courage to step back into this world. Even when we worry and think as hard as we can what can still be done. We won’t settle with standing there at the door being all helpless and stare. We’ll do whatever it takes for you to have courage to return.

I used to have a person I can make nonsense jokes with which can make me laugh even through a really horrible day, but right now I’m left alone. Even when the day is so bad I feel like crumbling down, I held on and stayed strong, waiting for the day I get my friend back.

I’m glad that as I wait I still have an almighty lord who will be there for me holding me up, making me stay strong, who knows how I feel in my heart right down to the very core. I still have a place of comfort, a place of shelter, a pillar of strength.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: if either of them falls down, one can help the other up. but pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one maybe overpowered, two can defend themselves. a cord of three strands is not quickly broken. ecclesiates 4:9-12